By Shanice Johnson
Being single weirdly hasn’t been normalized until now. Before, if you didn’t have a Valentine’s Day date, a prom or a wedding date (especially by a certain age), it was a source of embarrassment. Going to the movies alone or to a restaurant by oneself was often frowned upon. Not anymore.
Solo dates have grown in popularity as a way to get a break from the noise of society. Taking time to self-reflect and enjoy one’s own company are in vogue.
For some, the idea of doing a solo activity can be a bit of hurdle to get over however. The fear of judgement from strangers is something that can deter people from going on solo dates. Tanieka Murray, a GTA local was like that. But she has since embraced seeing more of the world solo.
“I felt that people were going to be judging me for being alone, especially in crowded spaces full of friends and couples,” says Murray. “Meanwhile, the reality is that everyone is busy doing their own things.”
Those who are used to having their partner join them at dinner or a museum date many times feel uncomfortable at the idea of doing something like this without them.
Even for those in committed relationships, it’s important to prioritize self-care and maintain some independence through alone time. A solo date is a great way to do so.
It’s hard to find time in a busy schedule to be alone; many of us are constantly pouring our energy out on others throughout the day, in our personal lives at home and at work.
Taking the time to plan a date in solitude and doing so at least once a week or even once a month can make for a mental break, awareness of self as well as personal growth.
Putting as much effort into planning something special for yourself, as you would do for a love interest, is key.
“I think that solo dating has definitely boosted my self-confidence and respect because I walk into rooms now feeling like my best self,” says Murray. “I also do think that solo dating has made my standards higher because I show up for myself so well that I feel if a date can’t provide a better experience than the ones I provide for myself, I mentally clock out.”
Solo dates are also a great way to tap into your inner child and let your creativity flow.
It can be as simple as going on a nature walk while listening to a podcast, journaling at a café or you can treat yourself to a restaurant dinner or attend a local play.
The first step to finding love, is loving yourself. And a good way to learn to love yourself more is in solitude and clear minded, which is why solo dates are great for self-exploration.
“I love my alone time and getting to fully enjoy activities without having to worry about external pressures of having others with me,” Murray says. “I find that I am able to be fully immersed in my activities too. Don’t get me wrong, I love to hang out with my friends and family too, but I find solo dating so fun in a different way. Liberating, I’d say. I’ve also met so many new people that I doubt I would’ve if I was with other people.”
Many say that long-heralded practice of solo travelling (people who the 19th century French called flaneurs) is a must-do in your life, to have the experience to fully immerse yourself in the present moment and go with the flow on your own schedule.
And same goes with solo dating. Practicing this is your life is a good way to find a different appreciation of the world around you, your personal preferences and dig deeper into your psyche.
But most importantly, solo dates are fun and being able to enjoy your own company boosts confidence which helps build deeper relationships with others.
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